I'd like you to take a little trip back with me, about 7 years, when a little show called "Malcolm in the Middle" was winning over critics, audiences, and academy voters. I remember the show being described as a "Live Action Simpsons," and when I tuned in, I heard the distinct voices of They Might Be Giants doing the theme song. I quickly fell in love with the show. It was a brilliant, absurdist masterpiece, with a heart of tarnished gold. If you enjoyed the show, and you've successfully taken this trip back with me, you might actually remember the name Todd Holland flashing on the screen during opening credits. He helped helm the show, helped produce it, helped write it. There was an amazing crew and cast that made the show work on so many levels, but Mr. Holland seemed to be the one that gave the show it's focus and purpose. (Which means he'd also be the one that has to answer for the whole Francis-in-Alaska plot... but that's another story, methinks.)

I usually don't take much time to fawn over producers. It's a rare day that I wake up thinking: "Thank God For Bruckheimer!" And though I'd like to be an Amigo de Garcia, I don't cry about not being an Greg's friend. (More accurately, I guess I've never been caught crying about it...) But Todd's name has stuck with me, and I'm glad it has. Because not only do I not spend effort putting producers on pedestals, I usually don't pay attention to cast and crew names at all. I appreciate their effort, I really do, but I'm usually fast-forwarding through credits to get to more SHOW. Know what I mean?

I know I've mentioned that I've been digging on DVD on TV lately. I've been plowing through tons of old shows in the past 6 months, and have happily "caught up" on a lot of shows that I missed the first time around. And I can't wait to get back to watching old "Malcolm" eps. That should be fun.

But even though I don't have that show on DVD, yet, I have spent some good hours going to story time with Todd Holland. First, when I watched "Wonderfalls," I saw the name pop up on a few episodes. IMDB even says he voiced the Wax Lion. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then 1) Shame on you, and 2) Watch Wonderfalls and figure it out! I didn't think too much about seeing his name pop up at that time. I don't even think I made the "Malcolm" connection.

Then I started watching "Eerie, Indiana" and in the very last episode (the one that DIDN'T WRAP THINGS UP! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! EERIE 4-EVA!), Todd's name popped up as director. Ah-ha, I said, Todd Holland! Cool! He's the guy from "Malcolm in the Middle!" I liked that last episode, and really, you can see Holland's balancing of satire, straight humor, and adherence to the dysfunction of family all wrapped up in that episode. The man knows from kooky family dynamics, folks (see: "Wonderfalls" Really, go see it. Now. Why are you still reading this?) And even though I made the connection here, and this was the second time I'd seen the man's name on two old shows I loved, I still didn't see it as anything more than a glancing coincidence.

But then, I started watching another show... Another old favorite, on about the same time as Eerie, and a few episodes in to the second season, there he was again! The show this time: Twin Peaks. This was just too much to handle. Four of my favorite shows existed with the touch of Holland. Now, I have no idea if this should freak me out in coincidence, or if I should just be so happy that this one man has made such a difference in my entertainment universe. I mean, I like Tim Burton, I like Andy Richter. But with projects like theirs, I seek them out, I support them because the people are there in the first place. To discover, mysteriously, that there's been this force behind my shows without my knowing it is a little unnerving. But yet, it's also very impressive to me.

So I've decided to land on the happy side.

Mr. Holland: thank you, sincerely, for all of your creative efforts on my behalf. These shows have each bettered my life in some way. From the high, empowering human revelations of Wonderfalls, to the charmingly creepy chills on Twin Peaks and Eerie, Indiana, I can't thank you enough for your efficient creative input, and dedication to vision. From now on, if anyone ever asks me who my favorite TV director/producer is, I'll now have a concrete answer. In the past, every single time that I've been asked this question (which has to be in the thousands now), I've always answered: "I don't know," only to later wish I'd have said "James L. Brooks." It's a very private regret, and now, sir, with you as my ammunition, I hope to be able to make up for it.

But, sir, I've noticed that recently your credits have been updated to include the new movie "Firehouse Dog." I hope it's better than it sounds. Because your new biggest fan would hate to have to change his mind so quickly. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, but I sincerely hope that I don't have to come back and edit this post, because the stinkin' title is perfect. ;-) So best wishes, and I can't wait to see what you do next...

All Assail, dang it.