A few months ago, new, extremely colorful new iPod commercial debuted, with an extremely colorful new song. That song: The Fratelli's "Flathead." I was lucky to already have a familiarity with the song, thanks to the local college radio, and I thought it wasn't too bad of a choice for Apple. The album that the song was on, Costello Music, was on sale at Best Buy, and after I read a B+ review in Entertainment Weekly, I decided to give the album a try...

At first, I forwarded to "Flathead" and rocked out. But then, I kind of got disappointed. Upon repeated listening, I started realizing that the song is just a bit of cock rock dressed up in well-produced clothes. I was kinda sad for a while, but since I shelled out some green on this, I couldn't bear to just chuck it, and really, even though "Flathead" let me down with its unearned braggadocio, it still had some very catchy parts. Even if it didn't make me happy, I still got it stuck in my head. So I gave the album another listen. And then another listen, and then another. It's a stunner. It really is. And now, I even like "Flathead" again.

What made me change my tune about these tunes? I realized that not only is this better heard as a whole album, the showy assuredness that irked me about "Flathead" for a while is actually part of a brilliant character development that reaches from the first note to the last on this album. It's a story in song, and now, I love getting carried on by the music. I love the journey.

Now I just wish the album would make a journey...like to Broadway. Seriously, this could be an amazing play. Some down and out Scottish blokes pummel their way into the music industry, hoping to find stardom, girls, and parties, and then have to come to grips with that world when they actually get everything they want. Because fame'll change ya, take you away from all that you hold dear. And then what do you have? These are questions that can only be answered this fall in the Great White Way's new musical: Costello Music! Get Duncan Sheik to produce and you'll have next year's Spring Awakening.

Now that I've said my piece on that, here's what I thought of the album, track by track...

Henrietta.

I've mentioned before how much I loved Blur's The Great Escape. 13 was a great follow-up, but for me, TGE is the quintessential Blur.
If Damon Albarn hadn't gotten so distracted with the Gorillas, and if he hadn't let Graham leave the band, I think that this song might have come out of the Blur camp from back in the day. It feels like the way the band could have gone. I like how it makes me get nostalgic, but that it still sounds completely original. Thanks to this, I love this song. Might be my favorite on the album. I also love the playful "hello!" thrown out at the beginning. Charming.
Also, I think this one literally sets the stage for all to follow. I say this because I think this album tells a tale better than any other album I've heard in the last few years. Even big concept albums that are supposed to tell a story don't come close to meeting the intensity with which these boys paint a picture of a rough-and-tumble world that, though full of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, is more about the people, the lives, and the joy in commiserating about the situation.

Flathead.

The iTunes hit sounds better embedded in the album. It's actually kind of a grating single. That could be because I've listened to it about 1000 times, though. Is there a contradiction, there? Yeah, kinda. The song is amazing. Sonic, a bit funny, great harmonizing, one of the best bridges in all of rock ' n' roll. But to me, the cockiness of the lyrics tends to drag the song down if you aren't taking in the whole Fratellis experience. It has the same off-putness that Louis XIV's "True Love is Blind" had a few years back. How much of a big man do you have to be to be a rock god? Again, more easily digested as a sandwich with Henrietta and Whistle for the Choir than as it's own main course. Still amazing on its own, but super good as a larger part of the whole.

Whistle for the Choir.

A palette cleanser. There's still some cockiness, but this song is a nice come-down after the strutting of Flathead. It's got a jaunty roadhouse flow, with a low-life's love lament. Some creative instrumentalization and backing vocals help to elevate the song, making me wish that I was at the roadhouse when this got sung.

Chelsea Dagger.

Here's the single in my book. Another creative crunchy rhythm gets the blood and fists pumping. Again, the song is a cock-rock come-on, but I think this works even better than Flathead because the protag in this one doesn't have it so easy. Of course, it's the minutiae that sell it for me. At first, I absolutely loved that he seemed to pull off rhyming "blogger" with "dagger." But then I saw Snatch, and now I know what a "blagger" is. Can anyone tell me what Chelsea's problem is, though? Is "sucking her sleeve" a druggie reference or is it just a weird thing she does? Anyone?

The Gutterati

First of all, the title? Brilliant. How fine of a line is it between the glitterati and the gutterati? I think that's the whole dichotomy of the band. They obviously want the Driveshaft life, but as it stands, their friends are all still in low places. The song rocks, and never flags, though the lyrics here are just not as tight as other places on the album. It could just be the speed at which the song progresses, but the sloppiness may be a stylistic choice. Either way, after two listens, if you aren't growling along with "Call me Cinderellla!!!" I think there's something seriously wrong with you.

For the Girl

More "la la's", and another jaunty verse-chorus structure. I love this song because again, the singer's not havin' such an easy time with this gal. In fact, even more than in Dagger, I think he's either got to grow up or majorly change if he's gonna have a chance to keep this one around. This again will ring true with the Gutterati, because it ain't a pretty love story. But it's honest at least.

Doginabag.

Finally, a chance to breathe. For some reason, listening to this song always makes me want to listen to the Fastball album All the Pain Money Can Buy. I think the album needs to let up here. The song isn't really a standout, but I can see the band playing this later in a live set just to put it on automatic and recharge the batteries before the next assault. A Beatles inspired bridge is pretty good, but this song is best just to keep pacing, and when listening to the album, I appreciate it for that. I'll never scroll just to this one specifically on the iPod. Let your mind run wild with what the song's about. I don't really want to think about it. But I think the subject of the song has been rejected. Unlucky in love. Maybe he tried to go after Chelsea. Whoknows?

Creeping up the Back Stairs.

Almost like a lost relic from the Cherry Poppin' Daddies or Mighty Mighty Bosstones, this kicker has some fleet fretwork, and sounds like it might be the soundtrack to a silent film. This song is one of the tracks on the album that amazes me. Not really because it's so outstanding, but because it boggles my mind how a debut album from a group that seems to revel in being sloppy and freewheeling can have so many intensely deft compositions. This song has 3 meter changes, at least as many key changes, and it sounds effortless. Unless you are really opening your mind to what this band of seeming-slackers are reaching for, there's no way to appreciate it: you'll miss the glory because it's so integrated. If you can manage to sing along to this one, let me know. I've tried, and I'm exhausted by the end.

Vince The Lovable Stoner.

I don't like the glorification of the Stoner life, but this song is an amazingly apt character study, and the musical changes inherent here tend to paint the picture just as good as the words. It's jukebox country-western with an earnest-sounding chorus. I really feel like I'm listening to the musical when I get to this point in the album. I can imagine the scene that preceded this tune, as well as the scene that will follow. Which is to say that even though this song revels in sex and drugs, it's the rock 'n' roll that really carries it. It's theatrical and amazing, and truly narrative in its sound and scope. Seriously, Broadway producers. This could be the soundtrack to the Scottish Mamma Mia!!!

Everybody Knows You Cried Last Night

To me, this sounds like a late addition to the album. It's still a good song. And again, a pretty good narrative addition. But the descending action leading into the chorus seems very weak compared to the fact that the rest of the album really doesn't lean on these types of devices. Of course, if I had come up with a chorus like this one, I would have done anything to surround it with a song to get it on the album. This is one of those song snippets that runs through my head all day, and whenever I try to figure out where it's from, it takes me a minute to remember. So I guess it's subconsciously great, but consciously, not so much...?

Baby Fratelli

More Music Theatre. This one could even have a kick line! Seriously, this is brilliant! Throughout the album, the protagonist of all the stories seems to have a fixation with other guys' sisters. I kind of like to think that this song is about his sister, but that doesn't really allow for all of the lyrics to make sense. It may just be about a young one that is foolishly trying to emulate the ways of the band. That actually makes a little more sense. Either way, it's an off-kilterly charming tale, and I'm not kidding, you might be belting and Rockette-ing your way around the house by the end of the tune. The dichotomy of "grandiose sleaze" is not nearly as apparent anywhere else on the album. It really comes to a head here, and I couldn't be happier about that...

Got Ma Nuts From A Hippie

Then there's this one. I mean, I had to ask about Chelsea sucking on her sleeve, so I don't think I'm going to want to try and get interpretive about what's going on here between the singer and the hippie. It's not a bad song, and I don't think it's a throw-away track. He keeps telling us that "It's Alright, It's Alright" but I still have a little hesitation believing that... I still get this feeling of menace. It's a tightly-played song that reminds me of something from Combat Rock, but it feels like one of the least focused songs on the album. It's redeemed by a cool quiet-loud structure in the second half of the song, and even though the singer ends up crying at the end, I think he's kinda happy. I'm glad for him and his nuts, I guess.

Ole Black 'n' Blue Eyes

Here's the capstone, kids. A perfect song to restart the cycle, this one focuses on the role of the big-fish, small-pond band in helping out those who they've redeemed, whether they were shooting for redemption or not. After all of the crassness of the guy who is in the band for the girls and the booze, the singer here wrestles with the desire to be helpful, but who doesn't feel like he's able to rise above his station. This is a similar feeling to what I struggle with when listening to this album. The baseness of the song subjects and the picture of the "Common People" (as Pulp put it) that the work paints is not so exciting or uplifting. But the music, the focus, the passion, the drive, the creativity - all of which are born only from the predicament of the Common People - is undeniably addictive. In this song, the girl is trash (and the guy probably is, too, no doubt), but that's not the problem the singer has. I think he wants to be better, he wants her to be better, he wants life to just be better. But he also knows that that's not who they are, that it's not their life. This is a brilliant outro, and can only be given enough justice by going back and starting with Henrietta again.

I think that's why I continue to visualize this as a musical, or even just a musical version of some other work: a film or a book. Because listening to this album lets you see into another world, dramatically. And trust me, it's worth the price of admission. Especially if you see it on sale at Best Buy

Wow,
that was weird.

If I were a little more psychically oriented, I would really have thought that my last post did something to upset the balance of the universe. Never before have I worked so hard on a cohesive post, just to have forces beyond my control completely mete its impact. Herewith: an update on last week's post...

1) Drive is canceled. I guess that settles that argument... The show had so much promise. In a weird only-on-Fox twist, they are still airing the last two filmed episodes: On July 4th. And on the website (www.fox.com/drive), they're making it look like a special event, not like the death knell it truly is. How weird. My official recommendation is to still go out and try to find eps on bittorrent or something. They's still real good. And as Entertainment Weekly said, Nathan Fillion "So deserves to be a star." I know we can't make a huge difference in that respect, but we can try to help his Q-rating...

2) Lost has an ending!!! The producers and the network reached a deal where Lost will go 'head for 2.5 more seasons, to end in 2010. This is great news for fans. It means that 1) we don't have to worry about them trying to stretch the idea thinner and thinner, and 2) they have a LOT of time to make it end really, really well. I guess there's a 3) too. We get to keep them around for 2.5 more seasons! This means that its kinda ratings-proof. No Alias-type abrupt denouement. Nice. Plus, there is the chance that more people will enter into a pact with a show that has an actual chance of delivering on the big promises. It could be win-win-win-win-win!

3) SCRUBS IS SAVED!!! Holy crap, this was last minute! A 7th season has been greenlit for this amazingly funny, amazingly low-rated sitcom. I mean, Arrested Development in its last season did better than this one did this year. That's nuts.
96th in overall ratings. But hey, I ain't complaining. This show makes me laugh like no other. I don't know if it's the funniest of all, but I reserve a special kind of enjoyment for this show, and I'm over the moon about having them around for another year. But in terms of the "did they or didn't they" season ending, please let it be didn't. Seriously, the "did" just wouldn't make sense.

4) Gilmore Girls ended on a really nice note. If future generations watch the show from beginning to end, it will feel a little abrupt to have it ended this way, but I still don't think it will be a total disappointment. This is a total aside: but keep your eyes peeled for the Stars Hollow set to show up again somewhere else. I noticed it in an old episode of The Ben Stiller Show, so it's in a WB back lot somewhere. I don't think it'll be mothballed any time soon.

Aaight, that's it for now.

Please share your comments: assailing or otherwise. If anyone wants to comment on their shows that ended for good (King of Queens, Girlfriends? Anyone?) or just commenting on how the season finished, this is your moment! All assail!

I have a suggestion for all of you masochistic artists out there.

You know who you are, the ones that love to create brilliant works, but get even more joy out of seeing your creations destroyed. I know you're out there, and to feed your conflicting needs, I earnestly implore you to go start working in Television.

We all know that there's impressive artistic failures in every creative industry. The movie industry has Magnificent Ambersons, Music has its Chinese Democracy, and Books get to carry around the onus of If I Did It... But is there a landscape more littered with creative flame-outs and suit-induced scrap-panic than Television? I can't imagine it's so.

Just in the past few months, I've reconnected with Eerie, Indiana, Twin Peaks, The Tick, Dilbert, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Wonderfalls, The Ben Stiller Show, Mr. Show, and AC fave Arrested Development. And I'm really looking forward to catching other lost shows like Boomtown and Kidnapped...

But it's a sad pastime I have, because all of these great shows just...ended. There was a slight amount of wrap-up with Wonderfalls, and certainly, we knew the end was coming at some point for AD. Regardless, though, these shows were taken away without our consent. And we have all lost something much larger than the shows when we realize that in each of these cases, the artistic vision of the people behind the show will never truly be fulfilled. And taken together, the shows paint a brilliant picture of revolutionary and creative TV. But it's sad to see them all dead. It kinda makes me wish I could have just been a Law & Order fan...

I bring this all up because we recently found out that there are two more casualties to send to potter's field. Gilmore Girls is wrapping up for good, and apparently, last-minute efforts to save Scrubs have summarily failed. These are like, 9th inning, 11th hour announcements, which means that if we get any satisfying wrap-up to either of these shows, it's going to be a miracle.

The "Why" really isn't in question. Pundits will quickly point to the ratings: GG has fallen, Scrubs barely ever got off the ground. But if they've been such bad performers, how have we managed to get seven and six years (respectively) without talk of cancellation coming up before now?

It just seems so evil. Obviously, these decisions were made on a fiscal basis, with little regard for brand image, quality, or earnest care for the fans. I'm not just ranting (though, honestly, it is mostly ranting...), but it just seems sooo wrong that we got a year-long countdown for 90210, and even longer for Friends, but we are only given relative moments to say goodbye to funnier and classier parts of our extended family.

This is a wound that cuts too deep. Our household has been scaling back our broadcast TV viewership more and more every year. (When we got a Neilson book earlier last year, it didn't take too long to fill out...) We are busier these days, sure. But we've mostly just been turned off by being let down too many times by the networks. And moves like these cancellations will further remove us from the comforting addiction of settling into a routine with our favorite shows. That doesn't seem like too

I mean, Why get involved in the first place if we have no control over the relationship? When the Jack Donaghys of the world call the shots, I just don't think we can continue to open up new lines of trust every season.

This is a tangent, but this is the constant worry about watching Lost for us, as well. We've gotten beyond the trust about whether or not the minds behind the show know where it's going. We're just worried that they won't have a chance to get there. This is also a current concern with Drive.

I know nothing can be done to save these shows, and since I've seen so many shows get ripped from my grip, never to be seen again, I've hardened myself to the pain. But it's still a real bummer. I mean, I have an imagination. I can dream up a future for Rory and Lorelei, I can imagine that things won't change too much at Sacred Heart. But the joy in these shows was that in trusting these other voices to carry our favorite characters forward, they'd constantly think of things that I couldn't or wouldn't. The voices of the characters (not the voices I'd provide for them) spoke truer and more earnestly. And I was content to let them speak.

Now, those particular voices will be silent forever.

I'm just not okay with that.

All Assail.

As much fun as YouTube can be (if your Internet connection rox, and the site is up, and you can find the video you want, and it's not mislabled, and it's an original, and...) the real voice of democracy online has been Internet radio - pretty much since the beginning of the web (there are many stations that have passed the decade mark... what were you doing on the web in '97?).

Well, thanks to the random and extreme tactics of the RIAA, and the lack of tactics by Internet Radio providers, the long-standing tradition of Internet Radio is in trouble. Uneven royalty structures (retroactive, even) may be levied on stations that have spent their blood, sweat, and tears trying to promote with passion. But corporate greed may get the best of things if we can't get something done about it. Seriously, contact your state representative and tell them that if they don't get behind HR 2060, they'll reveal themselves to be the fathead dummies you thought they were when you didn't vote for them (this may only apply to me and Mike Rogers...). Either way, get yr voice heard, so that Internet Radio can be heard, too.